Bloody Useless

I have been ill. Struck down in my prime. I had to have 3 days off! That's practically unheard of for somebody as awesomely healthy as me.

But anyway, I'm not one to complain! Get this.

In my absence, my boss had to do One Thing. Pick up some contracts and mail them to a well-known address.

Because I wasn't there, the receptionist was on leave, and the executive assistant was also on leave, he waited for a day, flew to Christchurch with the contracts, and asked the receptionist from our Christchurch office to mail them. How LAME is that???

I'm a bit Feral Without Supervision

Picture, if you will. Moi. Dirty hair piled high on my head, clips keeping in the strands attempting escape. Pajamas on. Butt nestled securely into the farthest corner of the couch, TV on, laptop open, book on the shelf awaiting its turn.

I’m eating my second chocolate pudding, and letting Ned lick scraps off my spoon.

I love being on holiday.

Appealing to Interest Groups

I was sitting in the bus stop today, and this guy on a scooter with super super long blonde dreads just about drove into a parked car, he was checking me out so intently.

And then he beeped at me. What exactly does that MEAN? "beep beep how 'bout a date"? "beep beep look out behind you there's a zombie"? "beep beep I didn't quite scrape in on the non-retarded test, and this is my only means of communication"?

Who knows.

Anyway, in other news, I fell on my ass. Quite spectacularly, actually. It was on a steep sloping footpath, it was raining, and I had my new black sneakers on with the day-glo purple laces. Plus, lots of people saw. I sat there until some guys came to see if I was ok, and accepted the hand up offered by the cutest one... :)

And now I'm on the couch, drugged up on happy triangles.

Shake Your Money Maker...

Or if you can't be assed, Christchurch will shake it for you.

Biggest face-palm moment of Saturday morning: Stuart Keith on National Radio, doing the live announcement that Christchurch had just been hit by a massive earthquake, and then playing "Good Vibrations" in the break...

It's All In HOW You Say It

We went out for lunch this afternoon, and Sweet Mother's Kitchen has a brand new cabinet in which they are keeping their pies and other sweet goodies. Which would have been a better way to put it, upon reflection.

Not, as I exclaimed to the server "You've got a hygienic box!".

Things I Have Learnt Lately

• You should never assume that your arm is not for other people to elbow on the bus.
• There can be too much chilli in Macaroni and Cheese.
• The ports on the side of a laptop are the same size as baby fingers for a reason.
• I'm definitely too old to go out more than one night a week.

Sigh.

But hey! The couch arrived! It's so freaking awesome it was worth the wait. You should see this thing. So smooth... So squishy... So butt-embracing...

Couch? Are You There, Couch? It's Me, Jody...

We're entering week 18 of "waiting for the damn couch to arrive". And they said it would take 14 weeks max. Honestly - I could have paddled to China in a waka, learned Mandarin, negotiated with the locals over tea, and hitched a ride back to NZ with my new couch, on a frigate, and still been quicker than 18 bloody weeks.