Isn't it funny how a bathroom can be charmingly bijou, until the day the soap sputs out of your hands and lands in the toilet?
Then it's just small.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
I went to Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall. I can't believe I haven't been there before now! Rather a massive oversight, because it's actually really cool. Here's the steps.
And the main pagoda thingee.
There was a puddle, and I was trying to do arty shots with the sunset and the reflection, and in black and white with only the sun in colour. I think this is the best one!
I'm in there at the bottom, see?
Earlier in the day we saw this... I know it's a bit out of focus, but trust me that's a blessing. Little cacti in pots with googly eyes and pipe cleaner mouths? I shouldn't be surprised after all this time, but I am still a little disappointed.
Oh, and before THAT it was Caroline's last night out in Taiwan so we hit the town and as usual it was ugly. Although this picture isn't.
This one might be...
"Beer. The cause of, and solution to all life's problems." So true Homer, so true.
And the main pagoda thingee.
There was a puddle, and I was trying to do arty shots with the sunset and the reflection, and in black and white with only the sun in colour. I think this is the best one!
I'm in there at the bottom, see?
Earlier in the day we saw this... I know it's a bit out of focus, but trust me that's a blessing. Little cacti in pots with googly eyes and pipe cleaner mouths? I shouldn't be surprised after all this time, but I am still a little disappointed.
Oh, and before THAT it was Caroline's last night out in Taiwan so we hit the town and as usual it was ugly. Although this picture isn't.
This one might be...
"Beer. The cause of, and solution to all life's problems." So true Homer, so true.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
See The Sights, They Said.
I was sitting in a taxi earlier this evening, and as we idled under an overpass, I saw this man...
He was wearing a purple knee length skirt, and he was leaning with one hand on the overpass support, back to traffic, head down. INTENT on his business, which was scratching the living hell out of his ass and private man goodies.
He must have had fleas or something, because I've never seen anyone so lost in scratching. He kept hiking up his skirt at the back, and eventually my lucky taxi driver and I got a fetching view of his bright red undies.
What a world, eh?
He was wearing a purple knee length skirt, and he was leaning with one hand on the overpass support, back to traffic, head down. INTENT on his business, which was scratching the living hell out of his ass and private man goodies.
He must have had fleas or something, because I've never seen anyone so lost in scratching. He kept hiking up his skirt at the back, and eventually my lucky taxi driver and I got a fetching view of his bright red undies.
What a world, eh?
Thursday, July 3, 2008
What the...?
I did a bit of a tidy-up in the bat cave today, and you would not believe some of the crap I have thrown away. Geez - you don't clean your house for a year and it gets totally out of control!
Among the many items that I have blithely tossed with no thought for the planet:
Just to liven things up, here's a picture of a frog that I confiscated from one of my students. I didn't so much care that she HAD a frog in a bottle, but she was tormenting the poor little thing by shaking the bottle. And she had the cap on. AND she'd stuffed half a boiled sweet into the bottle as food. Stupid kid.
I set it free in a fabulous puddle.
Among the many items that I have blithely tossed with no thought for the planet:
- 5 mini red bean pikelets. I think the planet will understand that one.
- A neck pillow shaped like a demented blue cat having a laughing fit.
- My plane tickets to get here.
- 2 bottles of vile smelling moisturiser that Rachel left here. Trust me - VILE.
- 15 plastic forks. Must remember to tell Pasta Guy that I have cutlery at home.
- A hat shaped like a spider.
- A pair of shorts with Mickey Mouse embroidered on the arse. Clearly I was suffering heat stroke at time of purchase.
- 4 crosswords from the Taipei Times.
- A packet of lavender flavoured gum.
- 8 pens that don't work.
- 1 empty perfume bottle.
- A battery charger that belongs to something I don't own.
Just to liven things up, here's a picture of a frog that I confiscated from one of my students. I didn't so much care that she HAD a frog in a bottle, but she was tormenting the poor little thing by shaking the bottle. And she had the cap on. AND she'd stuffed half a boiled sweet into the bottle as food. Stupid kid.
I set it free in a fabulous puddle.
Summer...
Man, I can't believe it's summer already! I've got 52 days left in the country, it's stinking hot (but now that I think about it, it's always stinking hot so what's new?) and the school year has ended.
Which (you guessed it) means the kids have now all been jammed into summer schools for the holidays. English cram school for 3 hours followed by Math cram school for 3 hours anyone? What fun.
I've finished up with my favourite Dingo Snacks, who I am going to miss terribly. Look how cute.
There are a couple missing, including the one with the horrible contagious disease.
I went on holiday! First one since I got to Taiwan. Morning and I went to Orchid Island on the east coast of Taiwan for a long weekend. I did not see any orchids. But I did see two pigs making piglets, and a small boy pissing in the street, so I guess I can't complain.
Which (you guessed it) means the kids have now all been jammed into summer schools for the holidays. English cram school for 3 hours followed by Math cram school for 3 hours anyone? What fun.
I've finished up with my favourite Dingo Snacks, who I am going to miss terribly. Look how cute.
There are a couple missing, including the one with the horrible contagious disease.
I went on holiday! First one since I got to Taiwan. Morning and I went to Orchid Island on the east coast of Taiwan for a long weekend. I did not see any orchids. But I did see two pigs making piglets, and a small boy pissing in the street, so I guess I can't complain.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Up to No Good
Finally got around to trying betel nut. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but there are shops all over the city where women sit all day wrapping these things in some sort of leaf, glued together with what I hope is butter but suspect is something way more nasty.
Working class men seem to be the only ones who chew them, and you never see women buying any. They're supposed to give you a mild narcotic high, but all I got was orange teeth and a desire to brush my tongue.
Ready to chew...
About 5 seconds before I decided to spit the whole thing out. It tasted like grass. I'm confused as to why they wouldn't try wrapping the damn thing in something more tasty. Like chocolate.
Anyway, after that we went bowling and after THAT we went to a hookah bar and smoked mint. Much nicer than betel nut.
My best smoke shot.
What else have I been up to? Well, I'm not working much this week because the Dingo Snacks have been quarantined. One of my boys got this horrible and contagious disease that's going around Taiwan at the moment, so the class is canceled until further notice. Ah booo! I'm relieved to say that he doesn't have the strain which is fatal, so he's just sick and waiting it out.
This is what happens when you don't wash your hands, people. I'm talking to YOU, Taiwan.
Working class men seem to be the only ones who chew them, and you never see women buying any. They're supposed to give you a mild narcotic high, but all I got was orange teeth and a desire to brush my tongue.
Ready to chew...
About 5 seconds before I decided to spit the whole thing out. It tasted like grass. I'm confused as to why they wouldn't try wrapping the damn thing in something more tasty. Like chocolate.
Anyway, after that we went bowling and after THAT we went to a hookah bar and smoked mint. Much nicer than betel nut.
My best smoke shot.
What else have I been up to? Well, I'm not working much this week because the Dingo Snacks have been quarantined. One of my boys got this horrible and contagious disease that's going around Taiwan at the moment, so the class is canceled until further notice. Ah booo! I'm relieved to say that he doesn't have the strain which is fatal, so he's just sick and waiting it out.
This is what happens when you don't wash your hands, people. I'm talking to YOU, Taiwan.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Happy Dragon Boat Festival
So, I just about died half an hour ago.
I popped home to my apartment to drop some stuff off, walked into the lobby, and was hit by this horrible glue smell. 5 seconds later, I was coughing uncontrollably, gagging, and crying in the rain as I tried not to throw up into the flower pots. The guard, in a typically Taiwanese fashion, failed to take any action at the sight of one of his residents gasping for air in the rain on the front steps, but just stared at me in interest. I bet he'll be the envy of all the other guards, getting to see the Foreigner dying on his shift.
I don't know what the hell it was, but my throat is now raw, I have a pounding headache, and my hands are trembling.
Plus, when I finally managed to race into the elevator and escape up to my floor, I discovered that for the past 5 days my front door has been unlocked. (I'm staying in Daan.) Bugger!
Oh, and it was the Dragon Boat Festival on Sunday. I forgot, and instead of going to see, I lounged around Alex and James' apartment in my cake-eating pants, watching TV. Whoops.
I popped home to my apartment to drop some stuff off, walked into the lobby, and was hit by this horrible glue smell. 5 seconds later, I was coughing uncontrollably, gagging, and crying in the rain as I tried not to throw up into the flower pots. The guard, in a typically Taiwanese fashion, failed to take any action at the sight of one of his residents gasping for air in the rain on the front steps, but just stared at me in interest. I bet he'll be the envy of all the other guards, getting to see the Foreigner dying on his shift.
I don't know what the hell it was, but my throat is now raw, I have a pounding headache, and my hands are trembling.
Plus, when I finally managed to race into the elevator and escape up to my floor, I discovered that for the past 5 days my front door has been unlocked. (I'm staying in Daan.) Bugger!
Oh, and it was the Dragon Boat Festival on Sunday. I forgot, and instead of going to see, I lounged around Alex and James' apartment in my cake-eating pants, watching TV. Whoops.
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