Day in the Life

My alarm buzzed at 7:30, interrupting a very disturbing dream about which I can now recall nothing (thank goodness) and I rolled out of bed into the soupy hot air that is currently Taipei's. Usual ablutions.

Met Morning for breakfast at 9, where we dawdled and dallied over our dan-ping until it was 10am and high time to poke a nose in at work.

Noses poked, we realised there were flapping ears about so we hastily retired to the coffee shop for more caffeine and more chat. Yeah, ok. More giggling about nothing important.

11am rolled around SO fast! Morning had Dingo Snacks to entertain, and I had many many lessons to plan.

I sat in the Teachers Room for hours, thinking up stimulating games that would manage to incorporate the mysteries of sentences using 'so' and 'because', and designing large notices in Chinglish for the kids to correct before their unit quiz.

1:30pm - first class of the day. Not a single one of the little bastards had done their modest homework, for which I gave them a week to complete. We then started the first game, only to discover that they didn't know any of the review sentence patterns either. I yelled for only 15 seconds or so, which I thought was most noble of me considering, then I canceled all the games and made them write out tedious vocabulary over and over again until it was time for the unit quiz and then instead of a break I made them do their damn homework. 2 and a half hours of sulking children, grim teacher, dead silence.

And then just before I left at 4 I gave them a pissy speech about how it was all their fault and how they are lazy little bastards who are wasting my time. Then I told them that next week it would be more of the same if they continued to act up.

Spent an hour between classes marking homework.

Off to my K12 class, who used to be delightful but some time in the last 2 months have all hit puberty at the same time and are now appalling. There is much talk of shit and assholes, and boasting over who has the "biggest bird". I ended up having to yell at them too, and gave half of them double homework.

I was finally rid of them at 7, and then there was only 13 homework books, 3 pieces of awful essay writing, 2 lesson plans and 4 minutes at the photocopier standing between me and my bat cave.

Just before I left, the skies opened.

I walked home in a torrential downpour and vicious thunderstorm, with my jeans rolled up to my knees, my watch in my pocket, and my ipod tucked between me and my satchel since it's the only thing in my bag I truly love.

Arrived home to good old 3/9/213/180 Minquan Dong Loo, or whatever the hell my address is, wet wet wet.

Ate all the cheese in the house.

I'm ready for bed.