The Lacuna

It's a really good book. I'm reading it. You should too. Barbara Kingsolver.

We're moving! Found a house that seems to be rather miraculously made just for our unique family situation. I'm sure it will be a big old pain in my butt to move, but let's face it. I've already done it more than 30 times so it is bound to be just one more schlepp.

Things I am not allowed to have (BOOOOO) at the new house:

• A puppy
• Chickens
• More cats

Things I am allowed to have (YAAAAAAAY) at the new house:

• Worms. The garden kind, not the bum kind.

Hmm. Why is my sister so goddamn bossy?

The Inner Circus

So, I don't travel much anymore and I feel like there isn't much to say about my adventures since I generally don't have any. BUT... What about my inner adventures? You guys have no idea how much ridiculous crap I think about on an average day!

Here's one.

My pleasant bus face. Now, I like to sit backwards on the bus. You generally get to sit alone since most people can't deal with travelling backwards, and there are so many more people to stare at! However, I can't help but notice that most people sit there with stony blank expressions on their faces, looking vaguely tortured and miserable.

So I like to try and spread a little joy. However, you really can't sit there grinning like a Cheshire cat, because it freaks people out. So, I have invented the Pleasant Bus Face. It's a very subtle agreeable half-smile that I fully believe cheers up my bus companions.

Unfortunately, Tracy disagrees with me and thinks my Pleasant Bus Face is vaguely retarded and definitely disturbing and feels sorry for the people who have to see it!

Harumph.

Goddamn Birds!

These are the types of birds that have menaced me this week.

1. Seagulls.

• Intent: stealing my sandwich.
• Impediment: the closed car window.
• Infraction: hovering right outside the window and eyeballing me in a menacing manner.

2. Sparrows.

• Intent: getting more pie crumbs.
• Impediment: I was still eating the pie.
• Infraction: flying up and attempting to steal the pie crust right out of my mouth.

3. Ducks.

• Intent: eating my potato chunk.
• Impediment: it was at a restaurant (albeit on the balcony).
• Infraction: outrageous cheek and swiping my damn potato anyway!

What's up, Avian-New Zealanders? Did I kick a nest or something?