Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Real Mature
It's so great to be a grown-up, isn't it? I mean, you just have SO much more time to think about the higher things in life. For instance.
I was out with friends on Saturday night, sending Jessie off to her new "life" as a share-milker in Canterbury, and 2 of her fiance's friends kept putting ice down my back. And throwing ice at me across the room.
Sigh.
3am rolled round, I decided I should go home, I got up, and as I was leaving, I punched Friend No. 1 on the shoulder, and Friend No. 2 in the stomach. Feeling rather pleased with my final revenge, I was just about to flounce off down the stairs, when I realised that the guy I had just punched in the stomach was A COMPLETE STRANGER!!!!
He and his girlfriend were standing there with their mouths open, while the guy I had intended to punch pissed himself laughing on the couch behind me!
I was SO mortified.
I ended up staying for another 10 minutes, apologising profusely and begging for forgiveness. His girlfriend thought it was pretty funny, luckily! I'm very very lucky I didn't get hit back. Just to add insult to the whole debacle, the only injury anyone suffered was me, as I woke up with a severely bruised knuckle. BOOOOO.
I was out with friends on Saturday night, sending Jessie off to her new "life" as a share-milker in Canterbury, and 2 of her fiance's friends kept putting ice down my back. And throwing ice at me across the room.
Sigh.
3am rolled round, I decided I should go home, I got up, and as I was leaving, I punched Friend No. 1 on the shoulder, and Friend No. 2 in the stomach. Feeling rather pleased with my final revenge, I was just about to flounce off down the stairs, when I realised that the guy I had just punched in the stomach was A COMPLETE STRANGER!!!!
He and his girlfriend were standing there with their mouths open, while the guy I had intended to punch pissed himself laughing on the couch behind me!
I was SO mortified.
I ended up staying for another 10 minutes, apologising profusely and begging for forgiveness. His girlfriend thought it was pretty funny, luckily! I'm very very lucky I didn't get hit back. Just to add insult to the whole debacle, the only injury anyone suffered was me, as I woke up with a severely bruised knuckle. BOOOOO.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
20 Weeks
We went preggo clothes shopping today, and had a lot of success! Now Tracy looks pregnant, and not merely the Prime Suspect in the "Who Ate All The Pies?" mystery series.
Nat putting together the baby buggy. Surprisingly easy! And no 'spare parts'. Good work Daddy.
In other news, I went for a walk! Yes, ME. On purpose, and everything. Here's Kylie and me, somewhere on the Otari-Wilton Bush walk.
Also spent some time with Em's girls. We played Wiki Sticks with Olivia (that's a squid. Pretty good, yes?) and Staring Competition with Nina. She won.
Nat putting together the baby buggy. Surprisingly easy! And no 'spare parts'. Good work Daddy.
In other news, I went for a walk! Yes, ME. On purpose, and everything. Here's Kylie and me, somewhere on the Otari-Wilton Bush walk.
Also spent some time with Em's girls. We played Wiki Sticks with Olivia (that's a squid. Pretty good, yes?) and Staring Competition with Nina. She won.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Mince Noms
Tame eel from the Jester House Cafe, somewhere arounds abouts Nelson... They'll come right out of the water if you have some mince meat on a stick!
See?
You guys have to remind me not to talk to kids. This poor little boy was happily feeding the eels mince, until I told him that they might find his toes tasty.
His face went VERY solemn, and he backed away immediately. What is wrong with me??
See?
You guys have to remind me not to talk to kids. This poor little boy was happily feeding the eels mince, until I told him that they might find his toes tasty.
His face went VERY solemn, and he backed away immediately. What is wrong with me??
Score
This morning, Mum Clancy and I decided to go out for breakfast. So into the car we squashed, and off down the highway we zoomed.
We were minding our own businesses, when suddenly, a truck coming in the other direction ejected 2 huge bags of Pink Batts (which, for my non-Kiwi friends, is a kind of fluffy wall insulation used in houses to keep them warm) onto the road! Mum did her civic duty (beeped a lot and pointed), and we pulled over so Clancy could pull one of them off the road. It was quite the hazard, as you may have surmised.
Next thing we know, Clancy's gleefully lugging the bag of batts over to the car, and knocking for the back door to be opened! Yep, we were swiping goods that had "fallen off the back of a truck"! She managed to stuff both of them in the car, and with Buffy and I cowering in the back seat under the imminent threat of Death By Batt, we did a u-turn and raced home to stash our loot behind the garden fence.
We were minding our own businesses, when suddenly, a truck coming in the other direction ejected 2 huge bags of Pink Batts (which, for my non-Kiwi friends, is a kind of fluffy wall insulation used in houses to keep them warm) onto the road! Mum did her civic duty (beeped a lot and pointed), and we pulled over so Clancy could pull one of them off the road. It was quite the hazard, as you may have surmised.
Next thing we know, Clancy's gleefully lugging the bag of batts over to the car, and knocking for the back door to be opened! Yep, we were swiping goods that had "fallen off the back of a truck"! She managed to stuff both of them in the car, and with Buffy and I cowering in the back seat under the imminent threat of Death By Batt, we did a u-turn and raced home to stash our loot behind the garden fence.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sloice of Loife
Apparently, I'm supposed to be continuing the blog with small insights into the joys of Kiwi life, now that I am NZ-side again.
Let me see...
Well, today I heard a ruckus outside the house, and there was a man in hi-vis gear talking to a man in overalls about a hole.
Mum scooped up all the poodle poos on the lawn with a slotted spoon that I'm pretty sure she used to serve dinner with, not too long ago.
Nelson is crawling - CRAWLING - with people I went to high school with. It's weird being home. I wish I didn't still have the same hair cut I had when I was 5. I'd have a better chance of hiding, if I looked any different, ever.
Let me see...
Well, today I heard a ruckus outside the house, and there was a man in hi-vis gear talking to a man in overalls about a hole.
Mum scooped up all the poodle poos on the lawn with a slotted spoon that I'm pretty sure she used to serve dinner with, not too long ago.
Nelson is crawling - CRAWLING - with people I went to high school with. It's weird being home. I wish I didn't still have the same hair cut I had when I was 5. I'd have a better chance of hiding, if I looked any different, ever.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Kina Beach
Easter weekend in Nelson. It's exhausting...
Especially when you've just gone for a swim.
Fortunately there is always time for cuddles, even when everyone is busy.
Tracy can always be counted on to do look-out duty.
zzzzzzzz... It's hard to stay awake now! I'm fighting a truly horrible head cold at the moment, which is so bad my teeth are aching. Thus, a non-funny Blind Squirrel post. The squirrel is feeling squished.
Especially when you've just gone for a swim.
Fortunately there is always time for cuddles, even when everyone is busy.
Tracy can always be counted on to do look-out duty.
zzzzzzzz... It's hard to stay awake now! I'm fighting a truly horrible head cold at the moment, which is so bad my teeth are aching. Thus, a non-funny Blind Squirrel post. The squirrel is feeling squished.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Boulders and Brandy Snaps
We went for a walk along the boulder bank today - and by that I mean that Tracy and I ditched the old ladies and the motley crue of little dogs, sat on our chuffs, and threw rocks at an abandoned Talley's fisheries bucket, in an attempt to fill it. So much fun!
It was one of those Nelson days that is so perfect it makes you want to give thanks to a higher power, and count all your blessings twice just to make sure you haven't forgotten any.
Sharon came over for lunch, and we sat outside for a couple of hours eating cheese muffins and salad, drinking coffee, soaking up sun. FAB.
Oh yeah - we had brandy snaps for dessert. They were snappy. I really just put that in there because it also started with 'B'.
It was one of those Nelson days that is so perfect it makes you want to give thanks to a higher power, and count all your blessings twice just to make sure you haven't forgotten any.
Sharon came over for lunch, and we sat outside for a couple of hours eating cheese muffins and salad, drinking coffee, soaking up sun. FAB.
Oh yeah - we had brandy snaps for dessert. They were snappy. I really just put that in there because it also started with 'B'.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Home Sweet Home
Made it! Adventures on the journey home include but are not limited to:
I completely flustered the woman who checked in my bags in Portland. She didn't know where New Zealand was, and she couldn't find any reference to it on her list of instructions on how to charge naughty travellers with overweight bags. I should, in fact, have been charged $300 (!!!) for excessive suitcases, but she got so wound up she let me go for free! CHA-CHING.
I was so relieved, I gave the girl who served me a burrito a 40% tip, which cheered her right up.
On the flight to Auckland, I sat next to a hard-core Greenpeace protester, who gets flown around the world to captain Greenpeace ships. He was very interesting to talk to!
Hugh Laurie was on my plane, according the other guy in our row.
Actually, that's about it. Unless you count as an adventure such mundane events as freshening up in an airplane toilet, chugging all the water in your water bottle before going through security, getting your accent mocked by a TSA employee in Los Angeles, and standing in gum.
I'm tired.
I completely flustered the woman who checked in my bags in Portland. She didn't know where New Zealand was, and she couldn't find any reference to it on her list of instructions on how to charge naughty travellers with overweight bags. I should, in fact, have been charged $300 (!!!) for excessive suitcases, but she got so wound up she let me go for free! CHA-CHING.
I was so relieved, I gave the girl who served me a burrito a 40% tip, which cheered her right up.
On the flight to Auckland, I sat next to a hard-core Greenpeace protester, who gets flown around the world to captain Greenpeace ships. He was very interesting to talk to!
Hugh Laurie was on my plane, according the other guy in our row.
Actually, that's about it. Unless you count as an adventure such mundane events as freshening up in an airplane toilet, chugging all the water in your water bottle before going through security, getting your accent mocked by a TSA employee in Los Angeles, and standing in gum.
I'm tired.
Monday, April 6, 2009
1...
I did say that this countdown was in no particular order, but decided I would save the best for last anyway.
The number one with a bullet thing I miss about NZ and look forward to seeing the MOSTY MOST MOST:
My family. (awwwwwwwwwwwww...)
I really do miss you, Mum. Don't forget to pick me up on Wednesday!!!
The number one with a bullet thing I miss about NZ and look forward to seeing the MOSTY MOST MOST:
My family. (awwwwwwwwwwwww...)
I really do miss you, Mum. Don't forget to pick me up on Wednesday!!!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Outrageous!
I saw this TV ad for a gadget that is a phone, internet, video chat thingee etc. It's supposedly going to revolutionise how you interact with your family. Anyway.
So, there's this woman. She's downloaded a recipe for paella from her fancy-phone, and she's busy in the kitchen making this fabulous dish for her family. She uses the fancy-phone to inform the family what dinner will be. Her teenage son gets a text on his cellphone, and uses it to send her back a video message, which she gets on her fancy-phone.
The message says "Mom, I don't know what 'paella' is, but I'm NOT eating it".
Cut to Mom, using her fancy-phone to order a pizza.
WTF????????????????
I would be calling MILITARY school for that damn brat! I hope no real mothers out there get this sort of treatment from their offspring, and shame on Verizon for putting their name to it.
So, there's this woman. She's downloaded a recipe for paella from her fancy-phone, and she's busy in the kitchen making this fabulous dish for her family. She uses the fancy-phone to inform the family what dinner will be. Her teenage son gets a text on his cellphone, and uses it to send her back a video message, which she gets on her fancy-phone.
The message says "Mom, I don't know what 'paella' is, but I'm NOT eating it".
Cut to Mom, using her fancy-phone to order a pizza.
WTF????????????????
I would be calling MILITARY school for that damn brat! I hope no real mothers out there get this sort of treatment from their offspring, and shame on Verizon for putting their name to it.
2...
I actually really miss cooking. Cooking in my own kitchen, with all the ingredients I need, and for people with the same tastes as me, so they're happy to eat it.
It wasn't so bad here in Oregon, since Alison and Mike have a fully pimped out kitchen, but Taiwan was dreary. Two gas burners, no oven, a dead cockroach in the grease trap... Not to mention trying to make ANYTHING using 2 pots, a fork, and a collection of takeout chopsticks. Bla!
It wasn't so bad here in Oregon, since Alison and Mike have a fully pimped out kitchen, but Taiwan was dreary. Two gas burners, no oven, a dead cockroach in the grease trap... Not to mention trying to make ANYTHING using 2 pots, a fork, and a collection of takeout chopsticks. Bla!
Friday, April 3, 2009
3...
Cheese.
Proper, yellow, (not orange) cheese that is called something normal. Like, cheddar. If I had had one more cup of coffee this morning, I might have been tempted to attempt an Ode to Cheese.
Oh! And Kikorangi Blue cheese of course. That stuff is divine.
Proper, yellow, (not orange) cheese that is called something normal. Like, cheddar. If I had had one more cup of coffee this morning, I might have been tempted to attempt an Ode to Cheese.
Oh! And Kikorangi Blue cheese of course. That stuff is divine.
4...
I miss my friends. All of you, equally. I hope you're clearing your social calendars, because I want to worm my way back into your affections, and your regular gatherings. These would include, but not be limited to: Movie Night, Book Club, P&P, Thirsty Thursday, Friday Night Drinks, Flat Warming Parties, Brunch, Birthdays, Babysitting, Lunch, Coffee, Sneaking Out of Work Early, and Voddies.
Or some combination thereof.
Or some combination thereof.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
5...
Tuis! I love tuis. I want to sit on my porch swing and listen to the tui that likes to sit in my cabbage tree. Ahhhh...
In unrelated news (ZING! Read on: that was a good one.) Facebook informs me that Barack Obama has confirmed that we are cousins, using the "We're Related" application.
I was not aware that I am a cousin of the 45th President, but I plan to take full advantage. I'll be requesting that Air Force One pick me up this afternoon, so I can spend my last 5 days in the States at the White House, supping on gourmet delights and feeling the awesomeness of my cousin's power.
In unrelated news (ZING! Read on: that was a good one.) Facebook informs me that Barack Obama has confirmed that we are cousins, using the "We're Related" application.
I was not aware that I am a cousin of the 45th President, but I plan to take full advantage. I'll be requesting that Air Force One pick me up this afternoon, so I can spend my last 5 days in the States at the White House, supping on gourmet delights and feeling the awesomeness of my cousin's power.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)