Here's a pretty typical day in Taiwan...
6:30am - woken up by incessant construction noise.
6:35am - squashes pillow over head in attempt to block out the above.
7:30am - woken up by woman on megaphone, yelling at kids at the high school across the road. Mostly it's in Chinese but occasionally she shouts "L-O-V-E, L-O-V-E, LOVE LOVE I LOVE YOU!"
7:30-7:45 - curses existence of teachers, megaphones, high schools, and location of apartment.
10am - gets up.
11:30am - wanders off to school.
11:30 - 1:30pm - stares dumbly at "lesson plan", aware of irony in the name. Am usually convinced I am teaching them nothing, and certainly have NO plan. Am eventually rescused by kindly Chinese Teacher, all of whom I suspect think I am retarded.
1:30 - 4pm - the lesser known Chinese torture technique. Insanity and death by 7-year olds. Emerge older, greyer, deafer, and covered in grime. Why grime??? Well, despite all attempts to ward them off, kids perversely adore me. Sticky fingers all over me, hands on my leg while I mark their work, gifts bestowed...
4 - late-ish - sit in Teachers Room, attempting to plan next day's events. Eventually convince myself my time would be better spent eating noodles and watching TV on my laptop. Drag carcass home.
late-ish - bed time - Eating noodles and watching TV on my laptop.
Bed time - lies in bed listening to neighbours. One sings in the shower, one right next door can be heard pissing in the toilet. Another is a firm believer that phlegm belongs out of the body at all costs. Attempt to sleep, but can already hear woman with megaphone...
Fun stuff! The weekends are slightly different, I swear.
1 comment:
You do make me laugh out loud.
Of course the little blighters adore you. They sense your inner .... something good; and are drawn like moths to a flame. Do NOT, I repeat Do NOT explode them with your eye-controlled, laser beam. They are innocent creatures.
Oh, and are you making enough money to exist?
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