I was under the distinct impression that life was already a shit sandwich. And then this morning, while drying my hair and congratulating my immune system on a sterling effort fighting off this cold, I put my back out.
I shuffled around all day, high on ibuprofen and bent sideways at a funny angle, but eventually it got worse and I disgraced myself by crying and lying on the floor in the teachers room with my head on a dictionary.
Next thing I know, every Chinese teacher in the joint knows about it (I tell you, NOBODY gossips quicker than they do) and they've jointly decided that they should call Sara (my preschool director, but I don't actually work for her anymore) because I'm her special teacher and that I should go see a doctor. You know how much I hate doctors!
They frogmarched me into a taxi and took me to this completely bizarre place. Full of mostly dead old people with towels on their necks, and prone bodies hooked up to machines for 'treatment'.... I was scared! The whole place was really dirty and looked like a building site - I swear I did actually see a jar of screws!
They gave me an x-ray, even though I told them it wasn't bone related. Didn't bother with the whole taking clothes off gambit - just straight on the slab. So my x-ray came out, much to my chagrin, with my bra underwires clearly visible!!!!
Then the doctor informed me that I have scoliosis (yeah, I know) and also back pain (really?). He then hooked me up to a machine and left me there to be mildly electrocuted for 15 minutes. Then finally, I got what I really needed - a bunch of drugs.
I left several hours later, dazed and confused but packing codeine.
And it turns out that even if the place was a bit of a dump, health care in Taiwan is ridiculously cheap! Cheaper than just going to the chemist and buying panadol. It was around $7 for my first visit, and subsequent visits (if I am that brave) will be about $2 or $3. And the drugs were $2 as well! Huzzah!
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